Please don’t mistake this for a Jennifer Rubin article.  You know, Rubin the “conservative blogger” for the Washington Post who actually posted an online Twitter poll recently as she fantasized about the potential “dream ticket” for the Democrats: Stacey Abrams/Pete Buttigieg, Kamala Harris/Jim Mattis, Joe Biden/Heidi Heitkamp, Beto O’Rourke/Amy Klobuchar.

Yes, she pretends to be a conservative and the Washington Post pretends that we all buy that.  Rest assured, I haven’t gone mad and that’s not what this is.  But given that I think the path to re-election victory for President Trump is thin-bordering-on-non-existent, it never hurts to consider the best possible outcome of a Democrat primary. 

Again, let me be clear: I don’t want any of these people to be the President of the United States.  Without exception, I think they all are bad choices.  But given that one of them is more than likely going to fill that position starting in 2020, it doesn’t hurt to ponder the best possible of these less-than-desirable options.  And yes, I’m including former Vice President Joe Biden in this list despite him still not openly admitting that he’s running.

Oh, and one last thing I should add.  This is not a prediction as to who is going to win the Democrat primary.  On that front, I still say it will be Kamala Harris despite her currently low poll numbers.  But this is a ranking of the best possible outcome for those of us who don’t really want to see the country fall apart in the coming four years.

So here’s my “please don’t make me pick, but if I have to here it is” list:

18. Wayne Messam – Dude actually proposed just cancelling $1.5 trillion in student loan debt as if there would be no economic consequence. Yeesh.

17. Julian Castro – He’s a socialist that doesn’t admit it.  Medicare for all, universal pre-K, and open borders. Pass.

16. Bernie Sanders – He’s a socialist and does admit it.  Slightly better than Julian because he knows open borders is untenable.

15. Marianne Williamson – Frankly this lady seems a bit off, but I do like that she has a heart for charity.  The problem is that with her call for reparations, she likes being charitable with our money, not just her own.

14. Tulsi Gabbard – A former Bernie Bro herself, her affinity for meeting with murderous tyrants is a bit alarming.

13. Kamala Harris – Her primary objective seems to be pushing a liberal social agenda, with lip service paid to things like middle class tax cuts.

12. Kristen Gillibrand – She’s a political chameleon who has shifted from holding some conservative positions to being a progressive champion. But hey, at least she once believed some good things.

11. Andrew Yang – Eccentric and likely unable to accomplish much besides becoming overwhelmed in DC.  His push for a universal basic income for all Americans is bizarre but isn’t to Bernie’s level yet.

10. Elizabeth Warren – Think of the Native American jokes that will write themselves for four years.  That said, her call to “tax the wealthy and corporations” is always what precedes the middle class getting hammered with taxes.

9. Jay Inslee – All the man seems to care about is climate, climate, climate. With any luck, he would chain himself to a tree midway through his first term and we’d be set.

8. John Hickenlooper – He certainly holds some leftwing positions on gun control, LGBT promotion, and Medicaid expansion.  But he also governed a state with a lot of Republicans and thus he has a history of moderating more than most on this list.

7. John Delaney – I know, I know…who?  But still, Delaney appears to be a fairly moderate Democrat with some admittedly leftist tendencies…like universal healthcare.

6. Robert O’Rourke – I’m convinced Beto would be interested in having the third term of Obama.  He’d be the celebrity president.  But his pet issues like hospital access for rural communities and pot legalization aren’t things that keep conservatives up at night.

5. Pete Buttigieg – He’s not a moderate.  No one who abides third term abortions and says the Green New Deal is a “good start” is a centrist.  And his recent shadow boxing with Mike Pence is off-putting to be sure.  But his rational demeanor and his call for economic opportunity are refreshing in a sea of crazy.

4. Cory Booker – I understand he’s a bit of a comical character, but I don’t mind his call to unify the country one bit.  We could use some of that.  And his pet issue has been criminal justice reform, not instituting a command economy.  Yet.

3. Joe Biden – He’ll run, and he won’t win.  But if he did, it’s one of the best options Republicans could hope for.  Joe is stuck on promoting a Rust belt manufacturing economy.  He’s an old-school Democrat and frankly, that’s preferable to the new school socialists.

2. Amy Klobuchar – She’s focused on growing the middle class, and I think just like JFK, she is persuadable on the importance of tax cuts to do it.  Fighting opioid addiction is her passion and I’m good with that too.

1. Tim Ryan – The man was once pro-life.  Granted he has shifted to the requisite “woman’s choice” position that any Democrat has to maintain in order to get elected.  But his hard line on China, his demeanor, and his lack of passion for the liberal social agenda make him the best of the not-so-greats in my eyes.

So I’m sure I’ve made some kind of grievous error here.  Please feel free to correct me in the comments below.