I have seen the future, and the picture is not pretty for the baby boomer generation. Yes, we face strong headwinds and rough seas.

What foreshadows such unmitigated disaster?

Inadequately retirement funding?
The collapse of social security?
The demise of medicare?
The Obamacare death panels?
Runaway rampant inflation?
The Mayan calendar?

All critical concerns, to be sure. Well... maybe the Mayan calendar is a bit overstated. Nevertheless, these anxieties pale in the face of the true tsunami even now bearing down upon us.

The catastrophe is revealed in the full back page ad from last Sunday’s “Parade” magazine:
The new Depend that “Looks, Fits & Feels Like Real Underwear.”

Oh... my... goodness. This is the cruel fate that awaits me. And I know who the ad is directed at because there is a photo of an obviously boomer-age couple smiling knowingly at each other. (Actually, they look like one of those couples in the Viagra ads. Maybe they need the extra moonlighting income since they depended on “retirement with dignity” from their social security benefits.)

States “Heidi” in the ad, “I LOVE ‘em. Softer, more real underwear feel inside and out. All that gathering is gone. They are nice and smooth.” Hmmm... maybe there is a reason for the Viagra couple facial expressions.

Yes, fellow boomers who are not there yet... this is our pending doom. Forget the repeal of Obamacare; Congress, pass a law to prohibit incontinence now! Please!!!

Ah well... maybe I protest too much. Seeking to be at one with nature and my world, perhaps I should just line up and dive into “the great American Try-On.” Maybe it will be something I can actually depend on.